All Grown Up Now
Updated: Oct 25, 2019
When Soul, Drugs, Sex and Fate Meets.
Just imagine this - you're five years old and gunshots begin flying over your head as you hide behind the door to keep from getting shot.
Or imagine you're six years old sitting in a room with your family members as they divide pounds of cocaine to prepare for distribution.
Or imagine you're eight years old and you've now become the lookout person for the drug dealers who come in and out of your mother's door to ensure she and everyone else won't get picked up by the cops.
Or imagine you're now nine years old and you'll riding in the car with your grandma while she makes her night drops to her drug customers. Now imagine you're 10 and have become the person responsible for taking care of your 3-year-old brother because your mom is in love with her demons, drugs, sex, men, and money, which causes her to stay out for days leaving you home alone. You're having to care for a child when you're just a child yourself. Does any of that sound familiar to you?
Has this life been a part of your experiences?
Or you currently having this life experience?
What happens when the adults in your life haven't dealt with their own demons and those demons could possibly become apart of your life?
What does a little girl do when all she knows is a home filled with dysfunctions, no guidance on how to behave like a girl or prepare for those things that girls go through? What does she do?
She looks out the window and dream.
She goes across town and dream.
She learns how to survive in the streets that are sure to eat her alive if she doesn't find a way out. She takes care of brother in hopes he doesn't end up like all the other men in her family.
What does a girl do when she doesn't have anyone to call on when her heart is broken?
She learns how to depend on herself and only herself.
I recently had the pleasure of meeting a beautiful young lady who experienced what I just shared with you. Not to throw shade on her or to bring shame to her experiences. I am sharing her story because she made a decision to beat all the odds that were stacked against her. To look at her, you wouldn't know that she lived her life with the fear of being killed, raped, or becoming a drug addict like most of the adults in her family. She had a broken mother, a broken grandmother, broken aunts and uncles, broken cousins and a broken story. But she didn't let her final story be broken. You see, she made up in her mind that she was going to do things differently. She shared her story of going on school field trips to the South side of town and dreaming of having a mom that picked her up from school every day.
She dreamed of having a home to come to where there was love and acceptance. She dreamed of having a home where mom was there to cook dinner and help with homework. She dreamed of having a place to feel safe.
That was not her reality, but that did not stop her from dreaming. Disappointed and filled with questions, she kept moving forward in school, getting weak some days and wanting to drop out, as her cousins have done, but God had an angel whispering in her ear, yes you can! and guess what...she did! Today, she is a high school graduate, the only one in her family to graduate and is enrolled in college studying to get her degree in education. She learned how to fight for herself and her life. She wants to be a teacher one day and help at-risk youth.
She's taking the experiences she had as a child and turning it into her ministry. She's 21 now and has a good job, studying hard and staying out of trouble as she is preparing for the life that she has
always dreamed of.
She told me that she doesn't know how she made it out without a baby and without being raped or addicted to drugs. I told her that God had His hands on her from the moment she was conceived. He knew that she would be needed to raise her brother and her smaller cousins. I told her, God knew that He needed a young person to experience what she's experienced so she could become a teacher and help those students whose parents are doing the same thing to them that her mom did to her. She said, "I guess you're right Ms. Lisa because I've always wanted to be a teacher and help kids. I hated my life and said I would never do my child like that if I was to ever become a mom." I told her that I was super proud of her and will be there to celebrate with her when she walks across that stage to receive her diploma. So, what does the SOUL say when Soul and Fate meets... Soul says, "I've been waiting for this moment, we have work to do and souls to help." She knew there was another way to live...another way of life... and she's on her way... :)
It doesn't matter how you were brought up, what you got or didn't get as a child. You have the ability to re-write the story that other's written about you.
Take up your pen and walk.... there's a bright side at the end. Remember to Find Peace Within, Be blessed, Ms. Lisa D.